Hey loves, so I recently did a snapchat takeover with a women's empowerment group called @girlsnightoutbds, started by a powerhouse @jalisiaboxill woman.
Sadly, I lost the snapchat video but I would still like to share with you, the written version of what I talked about.
The topic I am going to discus is about being you, confidently you, without trying. I know it sounds a bit confusing, but what it really means is becoming in tune with yourself not only consciously but sub-consciously. A lot of us don’t realise it but we aren’t as confident in who we are as we would like to think. I’ve been struggling with this for some time now so instead of me only telling you what I think, I’m going to speak my truth. I read a lot of books and each one teaches me something different, this new one I’m currently reading made me realise I try way to hard to be myself. One of my biggest weaknesses is other fashion bloggers and designers. I find myself envying them, loving their style, wanting their clothes , mimicking creative processes that just aren't mine.
I first realised this, as I was doing a fashion sketch for a competition I was extremely excited about entering and as I started to draw what came to me, I found myself becoming unsatisfied with my work. So I picked my memory for the process I believed would help me create a stellar design. I thought of my friend’s process of theme building, what I'd learnt in school and eventually google had the answers I wanted as well and in return I lost myself. As I sat there, reasoning with myself on why I wanted to change my design so badly, why was I thinking about others and not what I wanted, I realised I wasn't confident in my skill. I had disregarded what I drew because I thought I needed to draw in the way that other people did but this wasn't new. I’d been doing it since school. It had been embedded in me since school. This is how you learn, this is how you do, do it this way, do it that way, no that way is wrong and this is who I became, a girl who didn't trust her skill. When I design, all I need is paper, a pen and a direction and I begin to go at it, my soul understands what I want to draw and together we create. Deep down, I know who I truly am as a designer and I believe deep down we all know who we are as individuals. Due to the fact that some part of me knows, I seldom edit my original sketch and years later I will still feel as passionate about that sketch as I did in the beginning. Aware of this, I understood that my process will never be theirs and I should never make their process mine.
I am learning to be who I truly am and riding my spirit of it's egotistical, envious and judgemental ways that I have been nurtured to accept. The women who have reached this part of their being are leaders, trendsetters, goal 'getters' and heroines. Our being is meant to be empowered, loved and accepted by us because a woman is humanity's background. No matter how small you think your role is on this earth, you are power.
Can you imagine what an inspiration a woman who knows her true self can be to young girls,her circle and this world? She is power.
Can you imagine what an inspiration a woman who knows her true self can be to young girls,her circle and this world? She is power.
When I seek to work on something within me, I tend to leap instead of crawl. I leap to the end, the end where I try to skip cold turkey and humility and immediately begin to think I’m already where I need to be. However, in reality life just doesn't work like that. You forget, you screw up, you get sad, you forget how beautiful you are, how unique your talents are and some days you wake up just not feeling confident. Life is a constant self empowerment lesson and every moment we remember to, we need to lift ourselves and others up.
Whenever I find myself becoming envious of a blogger's lifestyle or closet, I ask myself an empowering question that will shift my awareness from overthinking to reality.
For example:
1. 'In what way can I be productive right now so I can continue to build my empire?'
2. 'What makes my style unique?'
Now, it's very easy to turn these questions into discouraging questions, this is why I am very specific in the questions I ask myself.
Without completely changing the above questions, I will turn them into discouraging questions.
For example:
1. 'In what way can I be productive right now so I can build my empire so I won't be envious of hers?'
2. 'What makes my style more unique than hers?'
As I've began to empower myself and focus less on others, I found my style and designs becoming less try hard and the love for other bloggers rarely turns into envy. To appreciate and be inspired by is very different to being envious and the line between can be very thin, so it is very crucial you truly empower yourself instead of unconsciously discouraging yourself.
To unlearn everything negative society has taught me, everything negative I have taught myself will not happen at the snap of a finger. It will be a long and hard process and most days my ego won’t allow it with ease. I will have to break what I’ve been taught in order for me to flourish.
Whenever I find myself becoming envious of a blogger's lifestyle or closet, I ask myself an empowering question that will shift my awareness from overthinking to reality.
For example:
1. 'In what way can I be productive right now so I can continue to build my empire?'
2. 'What makes my style unique?'
Now, it's very easy to turn these questions into discouraging questions, this is why I am very specific in the questions I ask myself.
Without completely changing the above questions, I will turn them into discouraging questions.
For example:
1. 'In what way can I be productive right now so I can build my empire so I won't be envious of hers?'
2. 'What makes my style more unique than hers?'
As I've began to empower myself and focus less on others, I found my style and designs becoming less try hard and the love for other bloggers rarely turns into envy. To appreciate and be inspired by is very different to being envious and the line between can be very thin, so it is very crucial you truly empower yourself instead of unconsciously discouraging yourself.
To unlearn everything negative society has taught me, everything negative I have taught myself will not happen at the snap of a finger. It will be a long and hard process and most days my ego won’t allow it with ease. I will have to break what I’ve been taught in order for me to flourish.
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| Jacket, top and skirt from local retail store, @attitudeboutique; shoes from Aldo |
I really want to see us women confidently stay true to us and as cliche as it sounds, when we can do this, we will find ourselves connecting with one another in a way that’s soul deep. In a way we won’t have to explain but all across the world we’ll be able to empower, sympathise, love and connect with our sisters.
To be confident, flawless and fearless is not impossible. It is already within each of us. We just need to understand that we are already are the power and have the power."
To be confident, flawless and fearless is not impossible. It is already within each of us. We just need to understand that we are already are the power and have the power."
I just want to thank everyone for reading and I hope we all remember that we are Queens!
Peace and love,
Mel
