Styled by Melanie Renee: 2016

Hey loves!

Below I just wrote a very brief piece about the pressures that comes along with a newfound knowledge of self. As my journey to personal success continues, I will try to keep you guys updated. I hope you enjoy this piece - love you all x.

After awakening a part of me that I never understood, what held me back from growth and halted my opportunity for success, I've realised that not only has it been difficult, this road to success but it has led me through more emotions than TOM ever has.

As I began taking new risks, almost immediately after being awakened, I felt as though everything sought to take me back to a place of discouragement. Honestly, the will to not give up is a job, and every single day you have to encourage, motivate and enlighten yourself while maintaining sanity, happiness and a good vibe. Difficulty, has actually become such a mediocre description for how it's been.

Upon talking to myself - because I need so much convincing, I need to convince me for me to even be convinced - I remembered that there will always be that point between quitting and persevering where your resilience will be tested. I like to call it 'el diablo’. It's almost like that friend who is so easy to talk to because they encourage your bad decisions and enlighten your negativity. They even agree with your misconceptions of your capabilities and add more flame to the fire by discrediting the great potential of your character. You know that friend, also known as your mind, whom you've fought so hard to take back control from, yes that friend. However, through the acknowledgement and acceptance of their existence, perseverance can finally win that battle. Personally, it has always been when I can admit my nurture that I am able to overcome a struggle. When I can give it room to grieve, I always come back stronger and more willing. Yes, I have days where I want to do nothing but I also have moments where everything around me inspires my will and my drive cannot be stopped. Though those moments come and go, I believe they should be acknowledged and cherished as a reason to keep going, as a reminder that it is all possible.

Powerful and important, these moments serve as your proof of your ability to persevere.

Photography @thedreamrealeli

The book that changed how I felt about not winning.

I entered the Miss Universe Barbados pageant 20 weeks ago, not knowing it would change my life forever and lead to me writing this article. I originally entered the pageant because my brother's friend encouraged me to do so. Though deterred by the idea of entering due to my assumption of what pageantry was, I decided to take the risk and so began my preparations to this great night.

From the moment we started the process of pageant training I began to love it; I did not think that I would, but I did, and as the weeks went by, my passion intensified for everything the organization was exposing us to. I did everything from, event appearances, etiquette classes, speech/interview sessions, motivational seminars, public relations, walking sessions and skin care lessons, to meeting Miss Universe Barbados titleholders.

My pageant experience was one I'll forever cherish, because the girls and I were in a space we embraced, and around people we appreciated. To say we were treated with love is an understatement.

Gown by legend, Wayne Smith.

Upon raving about the pageant to my friend Dominique, we got to talking about some of the things I know I needed to work on, particularly for the pageant. I'd always loved reading fictional books and motivational articles but I never got into reading motivational books. This all changed when she mentioned the book, 'Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn' by John C. Maxwell. Without going into much detail, she said it changed her mindset. After her review, I was sold.
By this point, I was so determined to develop myself holistically for the pageant that I didn't hesitate to meet her so I could get the book in my hands. After I began reading, I found myself thinking, "I know this-why do

I need to read this book?", but knowing that was not the way to think because there is ALWAYS more to learn, I continued.
It did not take me more than two pages to begin feeling silly.
Sometimes feeling dumb is good because it shows you how much growing you need to do.

To sum up this book would be unjust, because on every single page there is a difference lesson to be learned. The book taught me how to fail the correct way. I know this sounds really strange, but let me explain.
As children, we only appreciate the feeling of success. We live for it, we want to get an A+ and we want to be told good job when we do well. However, no one tells us that we will fail more than we will win and it is that, that we should be prepared for.
I am using the word fail loosely because it is how we understand not winning. We think that failing is a sign to quit, but really it is an opportunity for you to analyze your mistakes, make adjustments to your method and try again. Sadly, like me, many of us we do not bounce back from our failures as we should. We either give up, or try again using the same techniques.
Not only do we have the ability to try, change and succeed but we have the capacity to learn so much more from failing than winning.

By this time, I was beginning to really want to win this pageant. I was placing all of my eggs in this basket and I knew that was a recipe for disaster. I remembered how I handled loss before and how heart wrenching it felt. I knew that I never wanted to feel like that ever again and this book was teaching me just how important 'losing' was.

Since reading 'Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn', I found a new appreciation for my failed grades and projects, lack of sales on my clothing collection and failed launches of business ideas.
Knowing why each semester my marks would remain consistently low, why my clothing would not sell and why some of my plans never happened was due to a lack of hope that I could actually try again and succeed.

Eventually, I began to adjust my concept of losing and turn it into an opportunity to be resilient and keep working at the things that challenged me. In my case, it may not be another pageant, but it will be learning to network and converse fluently. I am happy to say this pageant has engendered much needed growth in me and it has given birth to qualities that I am proud to get to know.

Swimwear segment, wearing SugaApple Swim.

Let me just say this, disappointment is a natural feeling; I wish that I could have won, who would not want that? However, sometimes we are only able to be who we are at that given time, in that given moment and it is up to us to keep working on ourselves, for ourselves. As you continue to learn, my best will get better and so will yours!

P.s. I am about to drop you guys the most cliche line ever but I finally really, understand what it means so I am going to use it!

"Always keep hope alive"

Peace and love,

Mel x.

GIRL, they don't now your worth; anything you want it's yours.

Top (L Train Vintage, NY), bottom and shoes (Buffalo Exchange, NY, obsessed with this place) ALL THRIFTED.

Jewellery: Forever 21

Bag: Marshalls

Is it obvious pink is my favourite colour? Maybe not, but I have been craving a 'pink' shoot for a while now and well finding a pink wall in Barbados proved to be quite difficult (yes I'm back home, finally!). However, God is good and I found one! Hope you guys enjoy my blast of pink.

Peace and love,
Mel x.

"Say Yes to opportunities, say yes to travelling, say yes to different foods, say yes to adventure, say yes to life "

Finding myself...still finding myself, finding my style, figuring out my next move and recently a serious means of income. Perks of being 20! But let me tell you there is beauty in this process; in learning and living, completely with no regrets. I always knew the time where I would have to get my life together was coming but can I start next year? And can I add that there are so many things I really want to do before I even pursue a career I am going to do for 30 years.

But someone I met recently (she's 20 but I guess some of us are more on track with life than the rest) told me to just focus on where the money is at right now and with that money I could pursue as much interests as I like. So simple but yet every bit of that advice was the key to my success.

But as you guys can maybe tell I am currently in a different country (NY), one so different and new to the place I call home, so much more diverse, fast paced and independent. It's almost as though everyone is constantly running out of time. Picture the movie 'In Time' and you will probably understand.

I'm also running out of time to finish my summary so until next time, enjoy this post my loves!